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Humpty Dumpty Found Dead (again) by Jeff Lee
Jeff Lee

Humpty Dumpty Found Dead (again) by Jeff Lee in Entertainment

Noted Egg and Nursery Rhyme victim, Humpty Dumpty was found dead this morning, an apparent victim of blunt force trauma to the head. Police were called to the scene early today to find the victim lying at the bottom of a wall, tongue hanging out and his skull bashed in. Despite heroic efforts by police and EMTs, they could not put Humpty together again. Police describe the scene as horrific and suggest that cannibalism may be involved as only traces of yolk were found on the victim. Other evidence pointing to that possibility were found stuck to the bottom on a non-stick frying pan along with bacon fat. Police are searching for the owner of the house, one Jeff Lee, a persistent contributor to CJS. Mr. Lee, whose Non-Award winning entries include the Masterpieces, The Grape of Wrath; Still Life With Potatoes and I am not Litter, is considered a person of interest ion this case. He was last seen wandering aimlessly at Cattus Island, mumbling "Where are the birds?" "Where are the birds?". Described by police as being ancient and looking nothing at all like George Clooney, he is considered harmless to both humans and wildlife. If spotted, approach with sympathy and definitely no giggling as he is very sensitive. Mr Dumpty, a former co-star with Fred MacMurray and Claudette Colber in the classic "The Egg and I" and a shell of what he once was leaves behind 11 siblings in a carton. A viewing will be held on Tuesday at the Ocean County Landfill. In lieu of flowers, friends are asked to contribute to the" Do Not Leave Jeff Lee Alone, Even For The Briefest Of Moments, As He Is Prone To Bouts Of Self Inflicted Public Humiliation Fund" Happy Easter Everyone!

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